wth ... worst of the worst case ... last time the most serious case also like just have headache only ... now is like no headache but my stomach is rejecting whatever food i put in ...feel sooo tong ku ... arhx ... stupid stupid stupid ... so stupid .....
wHeRe Is Da LoVe ? wishhed*
9:35 PM
Ash in the air ... it is getting closer i guess ... not again ... time to find shelter liao ... just wtf is all this ? I can never have peace for long ... i wondered if i should ever made up mio mind in going aboard ... Maybe that was a better choice ... or even moving out will be a so much betta choice ... I seriously cant stand any of this crap ... Are adults ever mature ? Are kids like me always so inmature? It doesnt appear so ... It never seems so to me ... Never Ever !
In a confusion state recently ... Been more trouble than ever ... And it seems like i've been going drinking more often also ... Relationship matters are never easy to handle despite the so many lessons ... Everytime when you are afriad that the someone will hurt you , and you will try so much not to fall in love or commit so much ... and you did it ... but instead that person was loving you wholeheartly ...
When you see that true love still exist and that not all love brings you hurt and tears , the next person that come across your path you will try to grap whole of it and make sure you keep the feelings and used it all up until the last moment ... and making sure that this time round you wont lost another good guy ... but then he never know how words or little things he do could ever cause such a great impact on you ... he didnt even know that matters to you ... he never understand what you are going through ... he dont understand why you yearn so much for his company when you could simply ask any guy out and they would be more than happy enough to accompany you ... in his mind maybe it was all a burden ... and you knew it urself that you never want to be anyone burden ... you knew that you would rather let go then to grab hold of it when burden come in ... Maybe everything you do for him is just like what you are suppose to do ... and he is being insensitive in the things that you would hope he will give in return ...
wHeRe Is Da LoVe ? wishhed*
5:16 AM
Past week was a real battle for me . Trying hard to finish all my work and hand up on time . And forcing myself to study and be well prepare for the test . After one long week finally can rest le . But still got to chiong music project . One super suxy project ...
Was quite down recently i suppose . Or should i say i never know what is happiness ever since that day . Though it been really quite a while since it was over but still it is damm hard to get over it . I thought i am happier . maybe yes i am indeed happier but it is because i wont feel damm sad over anything again .
I realised how scary it is to be feeling so lack of trust for nobody . To be having the barrier of trust against anyone everyone . To be not able to trust anyone . To be thinking that all ppl in the world are bad . How long ler ? look back it been so long ...but yet all this are still being the cause of all my sadness . All the change in me . everything .
I wanna stand up again . Back on my two feet . Back to being the me that hadnt gone through anything . Never to understand what is hate or trust . ALl these are simply facts that i can never face. they are too hard for me to accept .
I dont understand why is things always the opposite for me. The things i want i wont get it , the things i dont want but yet i get it . People whom can change me dont try to change me , but people who cant change me are trying hard to help me be back on my feet again , to be living my life all over again . Is that the fate for me ? it is so sucky . ..
wHeRe Is Da LoVe ? wishhed*
9:17 AM
Life been superly f**k up . Out of six school days there are 4 days that i will reach home not earlier than eight thirty . Somemore reach home damm hungry .... will found out that there are no food .... wah liew ... everytime lidat ...... then end up never eat ..... then breakfast also never eat . onli eat one meal in a day .... which is my recess .... dot dot ... wont grow thin then there's problem ler ....
wHeRe Is Da LoVe ? wishhed*
5:29 AM
the above feelings cannot be display .........
memories that are hard to forget
wanna own both at the same time
but i know its impossible
things that learn to live without with
came back fresh to me
but still i am unwilling to give up the freedom i owned
broken heart that is glued
but the fights continue within
the barrier is still there
wHeRe Is Da LoVe ? wishhed*
8:37 AM
It's so sickening to be havening that feeling back ... this feeling keep coming and go as and when... how long had it been ? I thought i am able to do that ... i thought i am able to forget all about you and continue my life ... but it had proven me wrong ... you were the last guy i ever felt the feelings ... It's real hard to be facing you but yet had to treat you as a fren ... and to treat it as it had never happen ... i rather choose the direct way ... i rather you say something that really hurts me deep enough so i will be hating you and will nv fall into the hands of any hunters along my way ... i really hope you did that ... you never know how hard it is to accept the fact ...
wHeRe Is Da LoVe ? wishhed*
7:04 AM
" how far had i went , how much had i change over the different impact from different things ? " I keep asking myself . Did i really mature from these things that i had gone through and learn not to make the same mistakes again ... or had i just made one big round and came back to the same spot as to where i first started off ?
There are soo many things recently that really make me felt that i wanna be back to the old me ... and somewhat i felt that i had change back ... the girl that nv trust in any relationship ,the girl that dono what is love ... the girl that knows onli abt frens around her ... the girl that cares onli abt fooling around at playground /basketball court /swimming pool / sentosa ... the once carefree and innocent de me ...the once when freedom was all in the control of my hands ... am i ever getting them back ?
wHeRe Is Da LoVe ? wishhed*
6:47 AM
It is 10.02 and i called my friend and just realised that tmr there is two test . First chinese second maths ... how much time had i left ? 8 hours before i board the bus ... dont need sleep arhx ... somemore today so tired ... study also flung ... then nv study sure flung lor .... haix ... reading the text but nothing seems to get into my mind ... god bless me ....
wHeRe Is Da LoVe ? wishhed*
7:05 AM